Hello! I’m back! I hope everyone who is reading this is having a good day! So let’s just dive in, shall we? So today I wanted to talk about one of the most cliché topics, especially when it comes to blog writing. But of course everyone has their specific take on it. And while we are surrounded by many and very different relationships in our lives, I am going to be talking about the one we share with our significant others. A little about me in this context. I have been married for a very long time and have a child as well. When it comes to marriages and relationship’s of these sort.. almost every couple I know has a very different dynamic. No two relationship’s are the same. No couple is the same, what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. But sometimes they all face very similar problems. And in my many conversations with friends and my own relationship I come across such different views. The most common problem I see in any relationship has to be lack of understanding and that’s to say that there is a problem if at all. As someone who grew up with the notion that marriage is not a very smart tradition, I sure ran after the fairytale when life threw one at me. I got married very young because of having a very unsettled and troubled childhood, when I was shown I could in fact have some stability, I jumped at the chance. And now many years later, I sometimes wonder if it was the right decision to make. Is marriage really a matter of convenience? Is it just so we are never truly alone? That we can’t survive with just ourselves? One of the many reasons I thought marriage wasn’t logical was because I never understood monogamy. Why should we limit ourselves to one person? When there is a vast world out there filled with people to explore? And when I did choose to get married I was looking for the approval I had never gotten. And because I thought I only needed that person I latched myself onto him, put him up on a pedestal which was obviously too high. And when he could very clearly not meet those expectations It broke my heart. I wanted to see him in a certain light and I wanted to do everything that would make him see me as worthy of him. I had been told I wasn’t worthy all my life and so I fought against it. And in return I lost important parts of myself. And one day it felt like I just woke up and realized I wasn’t very happy because I didn’t feel like me anymore. And I blamed him and in turn he blamed me for suddenly deciding that. And that created a difference and distance between us. For me, marriage is complicated. When a problem arises, I feel the need to solve it and then I can move on. He thinks if you don’t acknowledge it and act like its fine, eventually it will be, and you can just get over it. Clearly we were very different . I knew about that from before. But I always thought it was a strength we had. And I am here to tell you that it is not. Being so vastly different can only end up with a bunch of problems. Not being able to see eye to eye on almost every matter combined with a lack of communication plus lack of comprise just turns marriage into a huge clash of egos. My understanding in all of this as follows. Life is tough and it’s complicated. And before we make a decision that impacts our lives in the biggest way possible, let’s not make rash decisions in the name of love. Falling in love is an impulse but that’s not how you survive a marriage. It’s anything but an impulse. It requires thought, compromise and communication at every turn. How about loving ourselves first? so we reciprocate that when we meet someone? In conclusion friends, keep your hearts open, but keep your mind open as well. I am completely open to discussions and feel free to ask anything.

Cheers, Shameless and Unapologetic.