Hello people. Like always I hope everyone reading this is doing well. Excuse me for being a little MIA over the past week, just haven’t been feeling very inspired and honestly when I am not talking about something passionately, I just can’t seem to talk about it at all. So this week had in store for me an interesting chain of events. I went on an all ladies retreat and while I stayed in town and had a little staycation, it felt like a different world. After a long time I fussed over my clothes and makeup and was bothered to put on hair extensions and apply eyelashes and I wanted to look fancy. I danced in my heels till my feet ached and got hit on by random men. I felt young after a long time, even though I am in my 20’s still. And I bet, somewhere along here you are judging me a little and thinking, wow. You needed all that validation? And let me tell you. Yes I did. Maybe not a lot, but that is a topic for another day.

Today, however, I wanted to speak about something that was a recurrence again and again in my trip. So, we had ladies ranging from early twenties to mid thirties in our group. And I was in a female dynamic for a couple of days after a long time (miss married for so long right here). And I have to say it was quite unnerving at times. Now what prompts us to decide what looks mean to us, right? It probably starts when we are young and people start telling us what is beautiful and what is not. Light skin, full lips, a thin figure but a gifted chest. We have been conditioned to stereotype beauty. If not people then television and ads and magazines have told us what is attractive. and so we look in the mirror and most of us don’t like what they see. And the ones that do usually sacrifice a lot to see what they do in the mirror.

I was surrounded with different body types, some healthy some not so healthy relationships with their bodies. But almost everyone in denial. And it broke my heart. Someone was starving while someone over eating. And it made me so sad that women capable of running their lives and being bad asses at every stage in their life, can be bothered to stand in a mirror critiquing themselves or getting ready to go out not to have a good time but to take a million pictures. I mean I was a part of elaborate photoshoots. I really was. And I get it, Taking a look at the person you are and not what you look like, its hard. Everybody struggles with their bodies. The good and the bad. And I used to be this person. But as I grow up I appreciate my body, I respect it and I know what its capable of.

It can do so much more than look good in a dress. I can use it for a lot of other things than to stand in front of a mirror and admire it while I objectify myself and place my worth on what I look like. Because I am so much more than my looks. So is every little boy and girl in the whole world. Because realistically both the genders are equally objectified. The era of pretty woman has been far left behind. We are now in the age of the magic mikes as well. And I am no where comparing struggles, I am just saying we are all guilty of making a snap judgment based on looks. For anyone.

In conclusion my friends, here is what I think. You are who you are. All the makeup, surgery, clothes in the world aren’t going to change all that. Life doesn’t stop because you are having a bad hair day or an attractive guy or girl didn’t turn around to look at you today. No one cares if your dress has a stain or that you have mascara on your eyelids. The truth of the matter is, no one actually cares. Everyone is way too busy living their own lives. The best kind of friends and loved ones around you aren’t the ones who like the way you look. They are the ones who like the way you make them feel. So instead of looking for the ones ready to shoot you down, choose the ones willing to lift you up.

And I can guarantee those will be the ones worth keeping around for a very long time. But first love yourself. Love the person within. And I know that you will love the person in the mirror looking back at you as well. No matter the physical state. And with that I bid you a farewell, friends. Until next time…

Cheers, Shameless and Unapologetic